Friday, January 7, 2011

From The Files Of Absurdity, Volume CLX: Man Arrested For Taking A Loaded BAGEL On A Flight!

America has become an absolutely paranoid and scary place to live.   I am sorry to say that, but from what I am seeing by the actions of the US Federal Government, their twisted Department of Homeland (In-)Security, The CIA with their phoney terrorism (along with the Mossad), and the TSA groping people at airports, everyone would have to agree!

Now comes another twisted chapter in my "Files Of Absurdity", and this one borders on insanity indeed.  According to this article, from Natural News, at, a Florida professor has just been arrested for carrying a loaded BAGEL on an aircraft flight!   I kid you not, and here are the sordid details:


Florida professor arrested after carrying suspicious bagel on airplane

Thursday, January 06, 2011
by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger
Editor of

(NaturalNews) If you carry bagels or other food items with you on an airplane these days, you'd better paint them red white and blue just to make sure all the passengers around you know you're truly an American. Otherwise, they just might turn you in. In yet another case of air passengers turning into in-flight SS troops, a Florida professor was arrested, handcuffed and removed from a plane when his fellow passengers reported he had a "suspicious-looking bag" in his hands.

The contents of that suspicious-looking bag turned out to be a bagel with cream cheese, a set of keys and a hat.

But in America's ultra-paranoid environment where the U.S. government actually encourages people to spy on each other (, apparently just about anything can set off the suspicions of the citizens' secret police. Maybe you talk funny, or walk funny or just look funny. Maybe your skin isn't white. Maybe you speak with some sort of foreign accent which, as all Americans already know, means you must be a terrorist.

Perhaps you pay with cash instead of a credit card. What? Only a terrorist would carry cash! Or maybe you are just "suspiciously minding your own business" and not chatting it up with all the other people around you. That makes you a potential terrorist, too, didn't you know?

I can't wait to see how quickly I'll be arrested on my next flight. I bring superfood powders and a Blender Bottle with that springy metal mixer inside. So during the flight, I'm sitting there mixing water and powders like some sort of mad chemist. Some nutritional noob sitting nearby would no doubt have no clue what was really going on and probably call the flight attendant to report, in secretive tones, "There's a strange man sitting over there mixing up a bomb!"

And that's all it would take. The FBI's anti-terrorism unit would be called out, the plane would be diverted to the nearest landing strip, the on-board Air Marshall would pull a gun on me, and I'd be arrested upon landing, then interrogated for 48 hours under the U.S. Patriot Act (no more Bill of Rights, see?) for the mere act of drinking superfoods on a flight.

Obama becomes Bush

This is no exaggeration, by the way. The paranoia has reached precisely such a level on airplanes crossing the skies of America today. This is all due to government-sponsored paranoia and the idea that people should all spy on each other. Just today, the Obama administration, which was elected primarily to oppose the secret prisons and fear-mongering of the Bush administration, has now announced that federal agencies should all spy on their employees to prevent future Wikileaks incidents (

Now, the mere act of not being a "happy" federal employee makes you a suspicious target for being spied on, too. This just gets more and more like 1984 all the time, doesn't it?

Be sure to watch my "report suspicious behavior at Wal-Mart" video at:

Oh, and don't bring a bagel on any flights. Your average corn-fed American thinks a bagel is "foreign food" and it immediately raises red flags that you might be a terrorist. Same story with hummous. Actually, hummous is even more suspicious and can earn you a trip to Guantanamo Bay just for mentioning it, because your typical TSA moron can't differentiate between "hummous" and "Hamas." They think "hummous" is a terrorist group.

The whole thing is so sadly laughable. Instead of addressing the real threats to America (such as the Federal Reserve and the FDA), the U.S. government turns the citizenry into a network of secret spies who now accuse each other of being terrorists for things like going to the bathroom too many times during a flight. (I drank some watermelon juice, okay?)

If you really want to protect the safety of the American people, just dismantle the FDA and end the government-protected monopolies for Big Pharma and conventional medicine. You would save upwards of several hundred thousand lives a year just from the decrease in deaths caused by the medical industry.

Big Pharma's FDA-approved drugs, just by themselves, kill roughly 30 times the number of Americans killed in 9/11 -- every year! That's why the FDA is far more dangerous than any terrorism group (

In fact, the most suspicious person on an airplane these days should be a drug company CEO. There's a terrorist if I ever saw one. Someone call 911.

Sources for this story include:

NTS Notes:  This is absolutely ridiculous.   The US Government is now having its own citizens spy on everyone else out of the paranoia that anyone could be a terrorist!   The result as shown in this article is to actually call someone a terrorist for carrying food such as a bagel on a flight!

American need to wake the hell up and put an end to this madness.   This type of paranoia is exactly what the criminals who want enslavement are looking for.   All they need now is a new phoney 9-11 "terrorist" attack to push people over the edge and have them all fighting the wrong enemy.

A very sad chapter in my Files Of Absurdity indeed.   I guess the next time I board a plane out of Canada with a few donuts from the local Tim Hortons, I had better be careful or someone will think I am carrying a loaded weapon as well....

More to come



Anonymous said...

This stupid country turned itself into the former Soviet Union! If your fellow citizen thinks that your doing something wrong, they report you to the FBI(KGB)! Then under the so-called patriot(comrade)act they can hold you in an US Gulag. They should just replace the 50 stars on the US flag to a hammer & sickle! If you act the part, you might as well look the part.

Anonymous said...

Take a stand against the TSA & the Airlines America! You have four choices to travel without getting humiliated by the TSA(Stazi). Drive,take a bus,take a train,and if your going to Hawaii or Europe go by ship. Plus you won't get robbed by an airline baggage handler. Pittsburgh International Airport for example has a high ocurrence of cargo and baggage theft. TSA and US Customs have been known to rob passengers of their expensive wrist watches and money. Laptops are another item that they steal from the public.

Anonymous said...

Just for the record, John Pistole who heads up the TSA (STAZI) is a Zionist Jew and after being interviewed by CNN's Candy Crowley and viewing footage of TSA employees sexually frisking passengers said that they were properly performing their job. Know this ugly lying jew prick has a card to walk through security at airports. So what does he care. DON'T FLY AMERICA!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Most of these TSA jobs are part time with no benefits. The people working these screening jobs lack proper etiquette, but what would you expect from the HUD people who get hired for these jobs. They even use foul language to passengers. By no stretch of the imagination is the TSA a professional organization. And look at this parasite John Pistole who heads it, this jerk is retired FBI collecting a pension and now earning another pay check! It's only a matter of time before these assholes start screening your reading material before you board. And one more thing America, if you think that you have been violated,just go to the nearest Airport Police and swear out a warrant for the TSA agent who molested you! Stand up for your rights, you where born in America, you paid for that plane ticket, demand some respect!

Anonymous said...

TSA are violating your 4th amendment: The right of the people to be secure in their "persons" ,papers,effects,agsinst unreasonable searches and seizures,shall not be violated. This is very clear! They are also violating your 1st Amendment right of free speech. How many times have people been arrested by stupid cops and other law enforcement for seaking up! TSA are also violating your 9th amendment right:" nor excessive fines imposed", these bastards are pissing on the so-called Constitution. The cover story is your security and airline safety. This so-called free country is almost to the point of total lockdown!